Disposal of the Apprentices

 

On The Nature of Sadim the Bully

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Warning Bad Language Follows

And now dear reader, you will no doubt have come to the realisation that Sadim was surely a Bully. Indeed he was so practiced in the art that those he domineered sometimes failed to see what he truly was. You, the reader of this tale may have come to this realisation yourself and now, under the bad language warning we can confirm this for you: That is, that Sadim was not only a Bully but his overriding personality trait was that he was and is a complete and utter wanker of the first order. To substantiate this claim which we do not make lightly, we shall set forth examples of pronouncements and deeds which will prove this beyond a shadow of a doubt.


 

"Dahsent matter if these things fail, maist of them fackin fail" :- A stupid insistance before anything begins that it is all shite and doomed to failure. This insistance usually leads to a self fulfilling prophecy.

"It Aint Abart The Technology" :- A stupid insistance that everything just works because the world goes round and the sun always rises not to mention the fact that the Tooth Fairy and Santa Clause aint ever let no facker down. His motor carriage simply works by a lowly mechanism and if it fails to do so a working class smelly gent with no intellect will tap it with a hammer in a manner requiring no skill and, whoopsy daisy off it goes again. Naw facking pwobs Betsy. See also Taking the Melons to Market

"You aint no facking teacher/designer/guru/wizard/writer (delete as appropriate)" :- A rather monontonous insistance of what those he seeks to lead are incapable of. In a complete antithesis of the traits of a leader of men, Sadims ability to heap negatives upon those he seeks to dominate knows no bounds. In doing so he never slips and points the unhappy individual in the direction of what they may possibly be good at, even something trifling like knitting or darts.

"Yew Fat Facking Kant" :- Yes, Sadim the Bully has a line in personal insults that knows no bounds. See also The Funeral Dinner

"You are much happier when ...... (fill in the gaps) OR You are not happy about ....... (fill in the gaps)" :- An overbearing insistance that either he knows exactly how the bullied person feels about something or that he insists that they comply with his pronouncement or else it will be repeated until they do. Since he has never pronounced to one of his victims "yew think I'm a total facking twat" which would be entirely more accurate, his pronouncements have been 100% incorrect. See also The Gloves Come Off and The Wizard Becomes Toy Mender

"Fack Wharg Ja Whey Yassal" :- And many such pronouncements made after the passing of noon or sometimes earlier when Sadim has given up the fiction of performing any meaningful duties and downed a glass or ten of Sheeps Bollocks or some such pretentious ale. That is the ones he has not declined on the grounds that is has sediment in it or has come from the wrong side of the vinyard.

"I think you'll find that .........." :- A much and overused preface to sentences that contain the world according to Sadim and his lofty minded fellow travellers. All sentences following such a preamble usually contain nothing but absolute shite.

"Pom Pom Pom Pom" A tuneless singing style containing neither words nor discernable melody. Intended as a ploy to disguise the fact that he is a frightened little bullying coward and he wishes his mummy were here. His overuse of this ploy to try to fool all and sundry that he is cheerful and all is right with the world often backfires as the volume increases to the point where the message is most clearly: "I'm fucking mad, certifiably insane, could someone please take me home to momsy to have my arse wiped and my brow patted"

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